Marking your daughter’s first period – a moment worth honouring

Your daughter’s first period is one of those life-changing moments.  It can creep up quietly, or you may feel it coming.  Either way, it’s more than “just another stage.”  It’s a threshold.

It deserves to be noticed, honoured, and marked.

For your daughter, this is about confidence and belonging.  For you, it’s about stepping into a new chapter of mothering.  And yet… many of us feel unsure how to respond.  Do we celebrate? Keep it private? Celebrate with a cake? Say nothing?

Listening to all the girls I’ve worked with at this stage of their lives, how she’d like to mark the arrival of her first period varies enormously.   Many do not want a big song and dance, but some do.  No-one wants to be told they are “a woman now” – which makes sense, because they’re not.  Even those who seem not to want it acknowledged or spoken about, do tentatively, quietly want it to be noticed. 

What matters most is that this moment is recognised as something positive, however subtly you convey this.  When we celebrate this important step in our girls lives, we give them the message that their bodies are good, that they are part of something bigger, and that they are supported.

Ways we can support you:

• Kim offers private sessions with parents (with or without their daughter) to help you create a personal and meaningful way to mark this transition.  It doesn’t have to be big or complicated, it just needs to feel true to your family.
• Kim’s book From Daughter to Woman has a whole chapter on periods that many parents find invaluable as they prepare for this moment.  It’s full of practical ideas, gentle wisdom, and reassurance.  There’s also a section written to give you the words to talk about periods with your child.
• Girls Journeying Together groups offer a year of monthly sessions for girls aged 10-12 to support them through puberty and into secondary school.
• Mothers Journeying Together is a weekend retreat for mothers of daughters to step away from the daily juggle to focus fully on your relationship with your daughter. This is a supportive, non-judgemental space to reflect on what has shaped you as a mother, explore the patterns you want to keep and those you would like to change, and connect with other mums who get it. You will leave feeling grounded, recharged, and clearer about the mother you want to be.
• Make a period pencil case for your daughter so she always has what she needs to hand.
• Listen to my three-minute audios on making your daughter’s first period special in a not-awkward way on Parent Pause

If you do nothing else, I encourage you to take a moment to list the qualities that you see in your daughter and, if you feel able, share it with her. These simple acts of witnessing can stay with a girl for life.

This time isn’t only about your daughter. It’s also about you – how you want to mother her into womanhood, and how you take care of yourself as she grows. When we mark these thresholds well, we give our girls a gift of belonging, and we strengthen the bond between us.

If you’d like help shaping something special for your daughter – or for yourself – please reach out. It would be an honour to walk alongside you.