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If you are grieving right now, be gentle. Ask for help. Let yourself be held when you can. This is not something to rush or get through. It is something we learn how to live with. You cannot get this wrong. Take care as best you can.
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Neurodiverse girls do not need to be toughened up to cope with periods. We need to soften the systems around them.
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That’s what I want for every neurodivergent girl stepping into puberty: Not to be tidied up, Not to be normalised, But to be met, resourced, and celebrated. And if we get that right for her, we make growing up better for every girl.
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You know your child. You love your child. And you are exactly who they need beside them right now. Here’s what to do…
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If we keep praising girls for being endlessly adaptable, they’ll keep twisting themselves to fit environments that should have changed long ago. What if, instead of applauding them for coping, we listened when coping wasn’t enough?
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When did rest become something we have to earn?
Rest without permission, as a rebellion against the culture that told you not to. Rest as nourishment. Rest as a gift to you – and through you, a gift to your daughter.
Girls are learning how to be women by watching us. So what are we teaching them, if we never pause?
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We often hear comments about how infants bring a sense of wonder back into our lives. With teenagers, however, the focus tends to be on how they irritate us and less on how their behaviour can remind us of what is truly important in life.
What is your teen doing that you haven’t done in a long, long time – and maybe wish you were?
– taking myself and my feelings really, really seriously.
– fighting for my right to live how I want.
– caring a great deal about my friends.
– questioning authority.
– seeking excitement.
– experimenting with how I look.
– wondering who I am.
– taking risks.
– sleeping until I no longer feel tired.
– eating what I really fancy.
– courting new friendships.
– testing limits.
– acting on impulse.
– learning by doing.
– going for what I want.
– winging it.
– giggling.
– trying new things.
– railing at life’s injustices.
– believing that a better world is within our grasp.
Thinking of the young people in your life, what can you add to this list of important things that teenagers do?
We asked on social media what people enjoyed about their preteen and teen years and the comments echoed the above list. Here are just a few -please do add yours.
“When people ask if you could go back to being a teen, what would you do differently – having a teen is your chance to do just that, guide them past the mistakes you made, and support them with their own.” Larissa, Norfolk
“I LOVE this age!
So much positivity and hope at this age. Raw emotions that show vulnerability that as adults we try and suppress. Nervous excitement about new things and the look for encouragement from us as parents or teachers.” Lizzie, Suffolk
“I absolutely love her confidence, the ability to see her own beauty and worth and celebrate her attributes without holding back.” Lynsey, Merseyside
The teenage years have their unique challenges, for the teens and their parents. As adults in a teen’s life, we can understand and support them better when we remember what it was like to be a teenager ourselves.
Our teens are great teachers. They remind us of some of the most important things in life. And they feel good when we tell them how much we learn from them. Often those things that irritate us most, could inspire us too.
We’d love to hear what your teen does that you’d like to do too.
The idea of a Mother-Daughter Date is for you to spend time alone together, once a month for a few hours with your daughter. You might view the school holidays as a greater opportunity to spend more time together or an extra complexity as you try to juggle work, childcare and possibly the needs of more than one child.
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Mothers form a circle around the girls’ group and go on a journey together too
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