Girls want to understand what is happening to them as their body changes, their moods fluctuate, and their relationships shift. Girls want reassurance that all is still well.
Women can give them this reassurance.
Girls want to know that they are not alone.
Other girls can give them this feeling of camaraderie.
Belonging to a girls’ group during puberty can be enormously supportive to mothers and daughters alike.
You could run a girls’ group
You could do this! You really could.
Find another mother, and gather a group of girls and their mothers, and arrange to meet regularly.
In some ways it does not even matter what you do – but things no doubt will evolve – swimming, walking, tea, chat, hair braiding, sewing, or something more formal.
In my Girls Journeying Together© groups I build trust and intimacy and then ask the girls what they would like to do together. We talk about puberty, learn about menstruation, dance, discuss bullying and peer pressure, study the influences of our culture and the media, we tell the story of our life so far, and dare to share our dreams for the future. We develop our ‘group ways’, things we like to do together, ways that we celebrate each others’ birthdays, and some choose to create a ceremony to celebrate their coming of age. We meet monthly for a year, mostly without mothers, and invite mothers to join us for a ceremony and celebration at the end.
There are many ways of running a girls’ group. Some groups meet once a year, some quarterly, some once a month, some more often, some only once. Some are run by a facilitator, some by one or two of the mothers, some meet with mothers and daughters all together. Some follow a programme, some evolve…
Trust your instincts, find out what others have done, read, research on the internet, cast your mind back to when you were adolescent and consider what you might have wanted.
I can write more on this if people are interested. Ask me.
Share your thoughts, your experiences, and your questions here.
“The hardest thing for me is walking the fine line avoiding anything vaguely pagan (so the Christians will come) or Christian-y (so the pagans/atheists will come). I find this comes up again and again in the home ed world (although this won’t be restricted to home ed kids). What we don’t want is both groups staying away because they think we will be brainwashing their children!”
My response to this question that I was asked recently:
You are so right to be considering both mothers and daughters when designing a group. Teenagers are sensitive to things feeling contrived and are easily embarrassed, so putting them at their ease is going to be an immediate consideration. As girls’ groups are not common in our culture, both mothers and daughters may feel cautious and will need some idea of what is planned and what will be expected of them. A good way is to give everyone the experience – have a trial meeting and do some of what you plan to offer.
With respect to people’s religious beliefs or spiritual practises, an environment where all are accepted and none imposed is good to aim for. If in doubt, keep it simple.